Month: January 2018

Kween Krush: ELLIE ANGEL-MOBBS “I’m An Endo Warrior!”

Kween Krush: ELLIE ANGEL-MOBBS “I’m An Endo Warrior!”

by So The Fairy Tales Lied... ♥ 3 Comments

Kween Krush alert!! This is where we celebrate everyday women for being complete badass Wonder Women.

Ellie, we have a crush on you because you have over-come challenges that have defeated many, you also continue to face these challenges head-on daily while keeping a kick-ass radio job, being a wife, friend and sister/warrior to the endometriosis community.

So firstly, what is endometriosis?

It’s a condition that affects 1 in 10 women, creates extreme pain and can lead to infertility. In doc speak – endometriosis is when the tissue similar to the lining of the uterus occurs outside this layer and causes pain and/or infertility. There is no cure. In normal speak – it hurts.

What’s your story/experience with endometriosis? When did you first find out you had it?

When I was 15 I got my first period. I vividly remember getting it and thinking “Oh shit, Mrs Martin taught us about this in Sex Ed noooooo, does this mean I have to grow up now? I don’t want it!!” I was so embarrassed that I didn’t want to tell my Mum but she knew something was wrong. I was acting unusually quiet and kept asking for paracetamol. She eventually said “Ellie, have you got your period?”. I burst into tears. My mum’s a nurse and at the time a mid-wife, so she knew everything when it came to lady issues.  She told me that she had this thing called endometriosis and that it made her very sick when she was young. It eventually led her to have a hysterectomy in her early 30s which is ridiculously young to be going through menopause. It can be hereditary and that there is a high chance I would have it (JOY!!!!!). I went onto having painful periods throughout my teens and the doctor put me on the pill when I was 17. It brought me no relief.

When I was 26, I woke up one morning feeling a bit off. I felt this sharp stabbing pain in my lower stomach. I laid on the bed in the foetal position to ease it, and 2 minutes later I couldn’t move. The pain was so intense. My husband raced home and took me to the emergency doctor. 15 minutes later I was on standby for surgery. They thought my appendix was about to blow, so they rushed me in for a CT scan. What they found was a surprise. Cysts on my ovaries and all signs pointing to endometriosis.

Within weeks I was seeing one of Sydney’s best gynaecologists and having a laproscopy. That’s key hole surgery where they look around your abdomen and fossick to see what jewels they can find. My body was a gold mine: stage 4 endometriosis, the worst you can have. It was growing everywhere – uterus, bowel, ovaries, kidney, it even suffocated my poor little appendix. They also discovered I have a condition called adenomyosis, where the endo tissue grows into the wall of my uterus. And that little sucker hurts! My surgeon described it as a badly bruised apple that will never heal and told me I’d have to have a hysterectomy soon. They also said “Have a baby ASAP”. Sure, because making a baby is as easy as cooking 2 minute noodles!! Since then I’ve had over 10 surgical procedures, and numerous hospital visits and days waiting in doctor’s rooms. It just has become the norm. At the moment though, I’m feeling on top of it and can manage the pain.

Considering there wasn’t as much awareness about it back then as there is now (thanks to Kweens like yourself), how did you become more informed about it?

Not only did my Mum have it, but so did her sisters. There is a very strong link in families with Endo. Mum is so clued on with the medical stuff (she should be a doctor) and therefore I have had extensive knowledge as to how it works and how to best treat it. Endometriosis Australia do a fantastic job educating on it as well. I highly recommend checking out their site.

How did endo change your world? And was it a hard at first to get through your day-to-day life?

It took a toll on my work, social life and mental health. At first diagnosis I had days in really bad places, but I started seeing a professional who really helped me get back on track. A healthy lifestyle with regular exericse and a good diet have a big impact on it. My husband is my rock and my world, he has held my hand through everything. He will do anything to help me, as will my family. I am very lucky.

What exactly is a ‘day in the life’ of someone who has endo?

On a day when the pain is extremely bad, (think of it like someone is grating your cervix, stabbing your uterus with a rough knife or rocks stuck in your bowel) you will spend it in bed, cuddling a hot water bottle and taking whatever you can to stop the pain. Then again some days, not even the hardcore pain killers will touch the sides.

What frightens you the most about Endo? And what do people still not know about it?

Mental health is a huge one. Recently, I met an endo warrior who just got out of hospital because the pain was too much and she tried to end her life. I heard of one man who lost his sister to suicide after she could not take the endo anymore. Women are killing themselves because of this disease. If you are feeling this way please call Lifeline on 13 11 14, they are amazing. The cost it has on workplaces is staggering. In Australia, each year, endometriosis is estimated to cost $7.7 billion in lost productivity and $2.5 billion in Medicare and direct healthcare costs. I have taken a lot of days off during my initial diagnosis period and post surgeries. In the beginning I felt so guilty every time I was unable to work, but I’m teaching my brain to leave behind the guilt and just focus on getting better.

Who are the #endosisters and #endowarriors?

Endo sisters and warriors are those who are battling the illness, it’s a beautiful community (especially on instagram) that share their stories and support one another. It’s nice to be able to chat to others going through a similar experience because we all understand what it’s like. It’s also fantastic to see so many celebraties talking openly about their experiences, like Lena Dunham and Halsey. When you see them posting about not being able to work and being stuck in bed, it is almost reassuring that it can affect anyone.

Tell us about the exciting announcement that happened on the 6th of December 2017?

I was invited to Parliament House for the official launch of the Parliamentary Friends of Endometriosis Awareness, hosted by Gai Brodtmann MP and Nicole Flint Member for Boothby.

These two amazing women have partnered together with the newly formed ACE team (Australian Coalition Of Endometriosis) which is made up of many of the Endometriosis partners in Australia including Endometriosis Australia, Endo Active, QENDO – Endometriosis Association (Qld) Inc, Pelvic Pain Foundation of Australia and Canberra Endometriosis Network.

As an endo warrior, I told my story of pain, surgeries and mental health. For over a decade I have battled this illness and for some reason it really got me that day. I cried during my speech. I was so proud to be standing in front of a powerful group of women, politicians and my Mum and Dad. The Federal Government announced three policies aimed at ending the silence on endometriosis. The average diagnosis time for a woman is 7 years. Just imagine a world where this is drastically shortened, and where this endo thing is just a thing of the past!

Addressing the crowd was Health Minister Greg Hunt MP saying that this chronic women’s health condition should have been given more attention earlier and outlined the Federal Government will now:

• Develop a National action plan for endometriosis. This includes more understanding in workplace scenarios, Medicare rebates and education.

• Fund endometriosis research into diagnosis and treatment at the The University of Queensland – UQ

• Partner with Jean Hailes for Women’s Health to make endometriosis the focus of the next Women’s Health Week.

Bravo! So what’s next in fighting endo? What does the future look like?

On New Year’s Day I was watching the news and a report showed that a research lab in Melbourne may have made a break through. Scientists discovered a new way to find a crucial stem cell in the lining of the womb. With further investigation this could help relieve pain and eventually lead to a cause and cure for it. The future is also about raising awareness (especially in young women) about the symptons of endo. Getting this education into schools would be a huge as well! If girls are educated that it’s not normal to be in so much pain from a period, this can lead to earlier diagnosis.

What do you want to say to anyone who is struggling with endo right now?

Be kind to yourself and know that there is support out there. I think the worst thing about having a chronic illness is just feeling like you are alone and no one understands. But there are people you can talk to. Also if you feel like you are not getting the answers from your GP then seek a second opinion. Some doctors just have no idea about the illness. I am always here for a chat, and to vent about endo. Get in touch @EllieAngel on Twitter. Check out endometriosisaustralia.org for more info, and get involved with their High Teas happening around Australia in March. All money raised goes to endo awareness and research.

Ellie and Carmela randomly met one night through a mutual friend at a radio station in Perth (it was one of those wonderfully drunken cosmic things). It wasn’t long after, that they both got jobs in Sydney and were battling it out hosting different radio shows at the same time. Carmela always admired the shit out of Ellie’s sweet sweet skills and hopes one day hopes to be as slick and cool as her.

@IAmEllieAngelMobbs

Guest Kween: EFFIE PAPAS “What The First Year Of Marriage Is Really Like!”

Guest Kween: EFFIE PAPAS “What The First Year Of Marriage Is Really Like!”

by So The Fairy Tales Lied... ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Later this month marks our very first wedding anniversary. We made it! We survived! What will we do to celebrate? More importantly, which photo of us will I post on social media? And when I say us, I obviously mean which one do I look the best in? It will be a professional wedding photo of us, of course, after I gave my left kidney to pay for them.  What am I going to say in the caption? Because, you know, it’s not a real milestone unless it’s on facebook. Or instagram. Or snapchat.

I’ve been noticing more frequently, over the past year or so, wedding anniversary announcements on social media. Maybe it’s because I pay more attention to these posts since getting married, or maybe it’s because I just know more married people these days. Makes sense. I read these posts – the elevated expressions of love and affectionate words for their other half. How being married is the best thing that ever happened, how they can’t wait for more fun amazing adventures together, how they are excited to see where the future takes them. It’s like those made-for-TV Christmas movies: they’re all different but very much the same. I don’t know why, but these posts make me go ‘ugh’. Double ‘ugh’, if said anniversary post is made by the husband. Ok, ok. That’s a lie. Maybe it’s more like “Awww omg they are so CUTE and PERFECT!! insert love heart eyes emoji here”… but then followed by an ‘ugh’.

I am genuinely happy that these people are all loved up and happy and marriage is everything they dreamt of and more. I get it, I love my husband too. Marriage is good. Life is good. But let’s be honest, it ain’t always sunshine and roses. It’s hard work in between all the great bits. Writing a sappy loved up post to mark our anniversary wouldn’t depict our reality for the past twelve months. Not in its entirety, anyway. It’s not that we don’t feel all those feels, we just don’t feel them 24/7, 365 days a year. I know people don’t purposely intend for their posts to come across that way. I’m guilty of sharing only the good shit. I suppose social media just isn’t the place to expose real life. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be no Negative Nancy either. I’d just like to read something real and honest, and think “Yes! Me too! I’m normal after all. Phew!” Actually now that I think of it, I’d rather look at bunch of memes… how good are memes?! The best! Seriously though.

Reuben and I are pretty in sync as a couple. We love food, we love travel, we love socializing. He enjoys my crazy impromptu dances in my baggy pyjamas and I laugh at his lame jokes. He doesn’t like my singing (that’s OK – nobody does, but that won’t stop me). He doesn’t stress about money and he teaches me things about… well… things. He likes my cooking, and I like his. We enjoy brunch and numerous other activities – yes, brunch is an activity.

Our wedding day was pretty amazing. The only thing I would go back and do differently, is eat more food. Yep. What I would give to try everything on that menu… That menu was made for me. Sigh… Since that day our marriage certainly hasn’t been a Sunday drive. We have been working incredibly hard at us. Like…. really hard. Those who know us well, know our whole relationship has been somewhat of a rollercoaster. You know how you have those crazy seconds on the ride when you’re going down a rapid decline and it’s all scary and you scream and scream and cry and you want to get off because you think you’re going to die but then it gets fun and awesome and you laugh and laugh and laugh and then get off and decide it’s the best thing ever and you want to get back on? Yeah! That’s us!

I won’t go into the details of our history together, that’s some serious novel material. Immigration services have a copy on file, if you ever want a read. Long story short(er), moving to Canada for love seemed like a simple enough adventure. How hard could it be? The extent of my thinking at the time was something along the lines of “Oh my god, I actually get to live with the guy of my dreams!!!” and the only concern I had was “Shit….what if I can’t sell my car in time?” That’s. Literally. It. I had some learning to do.

In the beginning I was incredibly homesick and experiencing FOMO like nobody’s business. I missed my family, my job, my income, my friends, my own place, my independence. I missed cheezels, Cadbury Easters, greek food, meat pies, warm weather and the beach. Did I mention food? When my visa ran out after two years, I made the move back to Australia. Life was good, but it was STILL missing something. I was finally achieving goals again, but Reuben wasn’t there. I was fulfilled in all the areas lacking whilst living in Canada, but suddenly had this new void that was bigger than all the previous voids combined. Neither of us wanted to give up what we had created for ourselves, but we weren’t willing to give up on each other either. So we waited it out. It was tough.

I eventually went back to Canada for a visit. I loved every minute of the trip and finally came to really appreciate this place. Now it was the cheap bars and restaurants, my Canadian friends, Sephora and cheap flights to Vegas that I missed. I decided on a whim that I was going to move back in the new year and try it all again. Suddenly my career wasn’t the number one focus anymore, it was Reuben. Home was wherever he was –  it was clear now. For the first time in a long time, I knew exactly what I wanted. I was no longer confused about whether or not to stick to my life ‘plan’ (which was to someday become ‘Australian Teacher of the Year’ and own my own home with ocean views). I no longer needed a plan! Is that the definition of finding myself? Perhaps.

I spent a few months back home first to make sure I wasn’t making an impulse decision, but nothing changed my excitement: I was ready to go. My first year back in Canada was perfect – we built ourselves a new home in a lake community, travelled to Jamaica, reunited with friends, made some new ones, and got engaged. I was content with where my life was at and no longer looked over that fence to see what colour the grass was on the other side. It was as green as it gets right where I was.

Then the wedding planning commenced. That’s when the next drop on the ol’ rollercoaster approached. Or maybe this was the loop-de-loop part. Either way, we strapped ourselves in for one hell of a ride! This time it wasn’t distance getting in the way, it was us. In true Papas/Teichroeb fashion, we pushed through it. A friend recommended counselling, so off we went. We chose the one that had the best looking website and was the cheapest (but not cheap) and commenced in letting everything out to some random stranger. She didn’t say much throughout the entirety of our pre-marriage sessions, but it worked. It was emotional and overwhelming and we let it allllll out. Everything. For a hefty fee, we took away some effective communication tools which come naturally to us now.

I also started reading more. The more I read, the more I paid attention to my actions and behaviours. I learned about the different vulnerabilities between men and women (shame vs. fear) and how to control them rather than spur them on. I started understanding why he was saying and doing what he was saying and doing. I became more patient and less reactive. I figured out how to control my emotions rather than be controlled by them. I try to focus on what’s important, not the little things. A relationship shouldn’t be 50/50, but 100/100. There will always be new issues to deal with and you can’t control them but you can control how you respond to them. Books, guys!! They help, I’m telling you. Good ones though. Not bad ones.

If I have learnt one thing about relationships, it’s that they need work. Even after you tie the knot. Sometimes it’s amazing and sometimes it’s a shit show. We’re a work in progress, but we are progressing. It’s a consistent effort and we have become very intentional with it. Social media will never show that side of us between all the smiles and travelling and great dinners, but know it is there. We aren’t perfect. Remember that when I end up sharing some sappy loved up post on our anniversary!

Effie Papas is a Greek girl, from Australia, living in Canada. She loves to eat and she really loves to travel. Gin is her drink of choice. Effie is a junior high school teacher as well as an entrepreneur. She’s working towards financial freedom and retiring by the age of 35.

@efstagrams

Kween Krush: HEIDI ANDERSON “Learning To Love Myself.”

Kween Krush: HEIDI ANDERSON “Learning To Love Myself.”

by So The Fairy Tales Lied... ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Kween Krush alert!! This is where we celebrate everyday women for being complete badass Wonder Women.

Heidi, we have a crush on you because you’re about to embark on a pretty important year. Not only are you fronting a new radio breakfast show (an honor normally given to the opposite sex) but you’re about to marry the love of your life, all whilst still vigorously working on yourself.

How different is the Heidi now, from the Heidi 5 years ago?

Same same but different.

I’m still loud, out-there & bubbly but I’m much more chilled & content. Radio has relaxed me a lot. I use so much of my energy in my job that outside of work I’m much more silent. 5 years ago, I operated at 100 million miles per hour. These days, a lot of that energy I use creatively and to bond with people. How I am when I’m drunk is how I used to be 24/7. No wonder I was single for so long!

Your brand is ‘Real Heidi’, a declaration of authenticity. Was opening up on an honest and raw level something that came naturally to you or was it a conscious choice?

It happened quite organically to tell you the truth. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve & spoken very freely & openly but when I was setting up my social handles after being on Big Brother, they told me to change my name from ‘Fake Heidi’ to ‘Real Heidi’ as people would know who I was. So ‘Real Heidi’ was born & it just fitted my brand. Working in commercial radio some of the topics I love to chat about were too taboo. My past male co-hosts found it too uncomfortable to discuss some topics on-air as well, so I started sharing them through my socials & people loved the real chat. I’m not one to just chit-chat, in fact I get awkward & anxious just chit-chatting. Getting real is where I’m at.

Why do you think as women we struggle to love ourselves? And what are some easy things we can do daily, to remind ourselves to cherish our heart, body and mind?

Oh god, it’s bloody tough for us women, comparison is huge for me and others! We compare ourselves to everyone and everything. Every girl on social media, at school, at work, on tv etc. We don’t do ourselves any favours by comparing & that’s something I’ve struggled with immensely.

Tips:

-Try & follow people on social media that don’t trigger you. If they’re causing you to have negative thoughts & feelings, simply unfollow. I did that a year ago; there was nothing wrong with these women and it wasn’t their issue, it was mine.

-Find something you like about yourself, your smile, your wit, your butt, etc. and celebrate it, whatever it is!

-Stop with the negative self-talk, it’s only holding you back, and stop giving so many fucks. We get one life. Enjoy it! It’s easy to say, but start pulling yourself up every time you do it. You’ll notice how bad it is.

-Rock what you got! As soon as you like yourself, you start to look after yourself.

With everything you have achieved, what are you most proud of?

Ha ha! I always think I haven’t achieved enough. How sad is that? Because when I stop now and think about it, I’ve achieved a hell of a lot. I think probably overcoming my anxiety & embracing it was my biggest achievement. It was honestly one of the darkest times, but now I look at it as a positive, as I have met some incredible people and it’s opened up many doors for others to share their stories. Connecting with people every day and making them feel something is pretty special too.

How does it feel to be a female leading an all-new-radio-breakfast-show in 2018? Nerve racking? Empowering??

I’m excited. I felt I lost my voice for a while, so it’s a new adventure with a whole new team. These guys are fun, vibrant, supportive & like my brothers. I’m pumped to see where it all goes.

What’s the greatest challenge being a female in the media industry?

As I mentioned previously, finding your voice & being supported. When you work with so many men and such big personalities you sometimes are made to feel misunderstood. It’s a tough industry, predominately male, so having them try to understand you can be hard.

You’re set to be married this year. Tell us one thing that excites you about that and one thing that scares you?

Just being his wife. Celebrating our love and commitment excites me. I just want a party & everyone to be together.

The one thing that scares me is saying the wrong name when exchanging vows. I told my partner Griffo this and he said “Oh well if you say your ex’s name, we’ll laugh and move on.” What a gem!

Tell us something about yourself that you haven’t shared on social media before?

Oh fuck, that’s a hard one, as I do speak so openly. Let me think… got it!

I do singing lessons for fun. Not because I’m good (far from it) but it makes me be mindful, present & in the moment. I love it.

What are your goals for 2018?

-Sober for 3 months (at least) for health reasons. On Sunday, I started a sobriety challenge and spent most of that day at the pub drinking soda. I got this!!

-Grow Real Heidi

-Walk more

-Do more yoga

-Continue to believe in myself

-Not give so many fucks about bullshit things that shouldn’t matter

-Love, live & find three things to be grateful for everyday.

-Oh yeah and write a book!

Carmela and Heidi have actually never met, but with them both working in radio and both constantly on the ‘socials’, it was only a matter of time till they would stumble across each other and bond over hashtags, lady-stuff and their favourite city London.

Obsessed with this Kween as much as we are and want to hear/know more?

You can catch Heidi 6-9am weekdays as one-third of ‘Heidi, Xavier and Ryan’ on Hit 92.9 in Perth. Also get a dose of kind-hearted honesty with Heidi’s podcast Real Heidi, Real People, Real Stories, follow her ‘lols’ on Twitter, and never miss a #inspoquote on Instagram.

Guest Kween: BELINDA COTTON “I Failed At My Chosen Career But I Survived!”

Guest Kween: BELINDA COTTON “I Failed At My Chosen Career But I Survived!”

by So The Fairy Tales Lied... ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I was always going to be famous. It was like, in my DNA. I got a taste of fame early on when I was the star of a local Telethon: the focus of a 24 hour live TV event to raise money for a children’s hospital. It was awesome! So I thought I’d better set about becoming famous for reals.

I studied journalism, television presenting and radio announcing. I decided I wanted to read the 6 o’clock news on the telly and I also wanted to read those bits on the TV after the ads but before the show: “This program, brought to you by Toyota!” You know the ones.

At uni I discovered radio was way better than television; less call for hair and makeup, more opportunity for ridiculousness, and I did it!! I achieved a small amount of fame for a little while. Not earth-shattering-Cate-Blanchett-style-fame, but people recognised me on the street, pubs let me jump the queue and shops gave me discounts. It was a super fun time!

Now, it was somewhere around this point that I started to royally fuck things up.

I jumped ship from my radio station, leaving my mediocre fame; seduced by the lights and the promise of more money on the other side of the country. Not long after that another company came along and promised me more money and more fame (which of course I was totally expecting), so I ran to them with open arms, just as the media company I was leaving was really transforming.

I never really hit my stride and I never really found my niche with the other company. I missed my opportunity. Slowly my star faded and I just became a worker bee, consigned to an irrelevant on-air shift that no one seemed to listen to. I took on more off-air roles that just consumed both me and my passion for radio. Where was my promised fame? Where was my name in lights? How did I mess this up so much? Was I really destined for the banal, the humdrum? Why wasn’t I reading the 6 o’clock news? How come bouncers weren’t letting me skip the line at the pub anymore?

I found myself angry and sad, overworked and underappreciated. I realised this wasn’t super fun anymore, but I had a mortgage now. Disillusionment set in with a thwack! Here I was, on the wrong side of the country, not rich and famous, doing a job that I now hated. How the hell did I get here? I’ll tell you: by my own bad decisions. I didn’t know they were bad decisions at the time but there’s not a single other person on this planet that I can blame for where I ended up. And trust me, I tried.

Then, I got made redundant; worst fear realised. “They hate me, I was crap at my job and they wanted me out” were the constant thoughts running through my head. I had never felt so low, so much like a disappointment. It was like all this hard work I had done was for nothing. And I still had that damn mortgage to pay.

But, sometimes you fear the worst, only to find out the worst isn’t really that bad. Actually, it’s nowhere close to what you were worried about.

No, these turns of events didn’t leave me living in the gutter, never getting out my pajamas or currently typing this on a shared computer at the library. I reincarnated myself. I’m currently living my life post radio, and guess what I do for a job? I read those bits on the TV after the ads but before the show: “This program, brought to you by Toyota!”. You know the ones.

These days I work from home. I run my own successful voice-over business. I get paid stupid amounts of money to read scripts that are only 30 seconds long. I’m the girl you hear during most of the ad breaks; sometimes selling you a car, sometimes convincing you to take a holiday. It doesn’t suck.

Life didn’t turn out the way I expected, and I have decided I’ll have to turn to reality TV to achieve my much needed fame, but it’s not all bad news.

I failed at my chosen career but I survived. Then again, did I fail? Or did I just get lucky?

Belinda Cotton is a professional voice-over artist who likes to drink beer, hang out with friends, listen to live music and travel. Preferably all four at the same time. She’d also like to have a dog and two cats, but so far no luck.

@Belyando