Is your inner cheerleader doing her job properly?

Is your inner cheerleader doing her job properly?

What’s the first thing you do when your friend is feeling down?

Or is not being very kind to themselves?

What’s the first thing you do when someone offends your friend?

Or even looks at them the wrong way?

YOU GO INNNNN.

Yep, you’re their personal cheerleader.

You tell em, ‘shut it!’ Cos you’re ain’t having any of that nonsense!!

You follow it up with every compliment under the sun. “You’re fucking gorgeous. Your body is bang-in. You’re stunning on the inside and out. If I was into women, I’d do you!”

At times you even go down the tough love route. “Oh stop it, you silly cow!!”

Now, what’s the first thing you do when you’re not ‘feeling it’?

Or catch yourself in a pic someone else took?

Or Facebook decides to show you a memory from 5 years ago AKA ‘a photo of when you were much thinner but thought you were fat and gross and disgusting then too’?

You do not go into cheerleader mode.

You say, think and feel some truly horrid things about yourself.

What a shame.

In the last two years, I was asked by both my best friends if I would be in their bridal party.

Something I felt truly touched by. I was honoured, privileged, thrilled, you name it: I had all the feels. Unlike my sister who has been in countless bridal parties, I have been in a total of three.

So how did I wear that pride?

“I have to lose weight, like yesterday.”

“Fuck, how awful if I’m this size for the wedding.”

“Shit the other bridesmaids are so much skinner than me; I’m going to look huge.”

This dialogue went on inside my head for 14 months in the lead up to my beautiful friend Effie’s wedding. Every month I would calculate the time I had left to be skinner, prettier, better.

I feared seeing Effie weeks before the wedding because I already felt like I had let her down. Why? Because I hadn’t organised the Bachelorette party or I hadn’t given a second thought to the wedding d-floor playlist? Oh no: because I hadn’t lost enough weight!!

On the morning of the wedding, the last thing I said to her before we left for the church was: “Do I look ok? I don’t want to embarrass you.” In hindsight I’m more embarrassed for actually saying that to her. What the fuck did it matter how I looked or felt? This was her day. 🤦🏻‍♀️

When my beautiful friend Pippa asked me to be in her bridal party, I was determined to get it right this time. I was not going to be fat at her wedding. Oh god, I was even bigger. 🤣

I just ballooned in the lead up to it. I had put on so much more weight whilst living in London that when I landed back in Australia two weeks before the wedding, I really had to put on a brave face.

At the time I never said a word to Pippa (a lesson learnt from Effie’s wedding) yet she constantly told me throughout the day how gorgeous ‘I’ looked and she let me get changed half-way through the reception. Am I the most high-maintenance bridesmaid or what? No wonder I never get asked. Ha!

When I got back to London, I was secretly dreading the release of Pip’s bridal photos. I was fixated on what I would look like and I couldn’t stop thinking how once again, I had let a close friend down.

When the photos did finally emerge, what I’d been dreading was to be expected.

Some of the photos I’m in are lovely. Others have so many chins and back rolls, I have to now laugh, otherwise, well you know how this sentence ends.

The day I went through her wedding gallery for the first time, I tried to do the cheerleader thing.

“They’re ok babe.”

“Jesus, calm it, they’re not that bad!”

“Look how much love is in these photos!? Who gives a fuck what size you are?”

And a bit of the tough stuff too: “No one is looking at that. YOU are looking at that. Get over yourself.”

But I couldn’t stop torturing myself and admittedly, I didn’t sleep much that night. I was wracked with guilt.

I reached out to Pippa a few times to confess how sorry I was (I felt like I owed it to her). She responded with:

Fuck me. Is this not the worst part?

Isn’t she a diamond? Am I not the luckiest mole in the whole damn world?!

What the hell have I been putting myself through over the last few years? My friends didn’t pick me to be in their bridal party because I take a nice photo. They picked me for so many other reasons. Why couldn’t I just focus on that?

What a shame.

The first wedding I was ever in was my beautiful friend Caitlyn’s. I was 15-20 kilos lighter but I felt the same then too.

When will this stop? What’s it going to take?

Kweens, it really is this simple: if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, then don’t you dare say it, think it and feel it about yourself!!!

Now, it’s not every day I do this. I’m actually getting a lot better at being kind to myself. I’m definitely a lot better then I was.

These days, I’m better at letting things go. Where before I would see it as I was letting myself go. I would punish myself for having any feelings of self-love (like maybe I was just lying to myself).

Today, I’m wearing skinny blue jeans with a black singlet tucked into it. This is a black singlet I would normally wear under tops to keep everything in and tight.

Lately I have been following some accounts on Instagram where women have been showcasing and embracing their size and curves. Each and every one of these women are sexy AF.

So I feel like the script really is changing. Am I more confident now by chance? By age? Or by the examples around me? The kind of examples that weren’t around me when I younger?

I got up this morning and I put on an outfit that totally emphasized my boobs, butt, waist, stomach and thighs. You should have seen me strutting across London Bridge, I was owning it!

The reality: I packed another looser top too, as I wasn’t sure how long today’s new found confidence would last.

The important thing: you would not have caught me dead in something like that a year ago, let alone 5 years ago (when I was thinner: thanks Facebook).

Growing up as a ‘bigger’ girl you get used to things.

Like: obsessing in the mirror and securitising every angle before heading out.

Like: pulling at your top every time you sit down.

Like: making excuses when your friends invite you to the beach.

Like: walking down the street and constantly fiddling because your dress is sticking to the wrong parts of your body.

Like: having mini-meltdowns in bathrooms during a party because you feel so uncomfortable.

Like: not getting changed EVER in front of ANYONE.

Like: dreading seeing an old mate because you’re not the same size you were the last time you saw them.

Where was my inner cheerleader then?

Where is my inner cheerleader now?

Well, she’s pretty strong today. She’s getting stronger and louder every day. She’s doing high-kicks and all kinds of fancy shit.

If you’re the same, can’t you see a pattern? You weren’t happy when you were 5 kilos lighter. You weren’t content when you 10 kilos lighter. You were still miserable when you were at your lightest.

When’s it going to stop? What’s it going to take?

Will my inner cheerleader always be around? No. But I genuinely believe that if I’m ever going to be truly happy that I need to love her just the way she is right now.

I need to learn to let my inner cheerleader do cartwheels, no matter what size she is!

Will my inner cheerleader be around tomorrow? Oh, I bloody hope so!! And I hope yours is too.

Goooo ‘Team You’!! Yaasss!

Big love,

Carmela

Kween Krush: BREE TOMASEL “From Hiding My Humour To Going Viral!”

Kween Krush: BREE TOMASEL “From Hiding My Humour To Going Viral!”

Kween Krush alert!! This is where we celebrate everyday women for being complete badass Wonder Women.

Briannnnna, we have a crush on you because you’re funny AF! In the last few years you’ve become this viral internet sensation, as well as a national radio star and co-host of the best kind. What came first? Wanting to be internet famous or your love for radio?

All these compliments! I can feel my head swelling. Haha! Radio has always been the dream since I was a little girl, but I never thought it could be a reality. I literally pinch myself all the time and still can’t believe I get paid to make a dick of myself on the radio and do something I truly love everyday. Making people laugh is something that gives me so much life and happiness and the video thing was just a natural progression that gave me another outlet to do that. Seeing people engage and enjoy what you’re doing is the best feeling.

Did it take you by surprise when your videos started to be shared and liked worldwide? Some have millions of views!

I still remember opening my page and seeing one of my videos Sober Uber home Vs. Drunk Uber home going ‘viral’ for the first time and it was the strangest feeling. It got thousands of views a minute and I thought Facebook had a glitch and then I realised what was happening. I still get shocked every single time a video I post goes well.

On your social platforms you broach crude hilarious subject matters (mostly ones that involve your Mum); was this a planned attempt to do something different as a female or something that just came naturally?

None of my stuff is super planned, it’s literally just me exploding onto video. My content is real, raw and authentically me. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Haha.

How important is it to you that different representations of women are showcased online?

OMG, so bloody important and one of the reasons why I’m so thankful for platforms like social media, as it showcases people of all shapes, colours, ethnicities and backgrounds. When I was growing up there wasn’t really anyone like me portrayed in the media. I always felt different and a little out of place. Sometimes I would hide the funny side of me as I was told it’s not attractive for a girl to be funny, so showing young girls and women that it’s ok to be the ‘funny female’ is so important to me.

Do you feel any additional pressure? Do you think it’s harder as a female to make your mark in the big bad world of web?

There are so many amazingly funny women in the media and on the internet these days. So many are making their mark in their own way which is so encouraging for younger girls who are wanting to create content. I think the hardest part about putting content out there is being original and different because so much has been done already.

Do you get approached on the street by strangers/fans? What’s their general reaction to your content and was it weird to receive this type of attention at first?

It’s still so humbling when someone comes up to me on the street and says that watching one of my videos brought them out of a bad place or they watch them with their friends and family. It’s always super surreal but the most amazing feeling knowing you’re making even the tiniest difference in someone’s day.

You’ve spent the last two years doing breakfast radio in Australia with Gawndy but you’ve just been offered a new kick-ass radio gig in New Zealand. How does it feel now knowing you’re dealing with a different audience?

I’ve been in NZ for about 4 weeks and it still doesn’t feel real. Some people would call me crazy and they’re probably right, it’s been a long and pretty difficult process. I’ve had to open a new bank account, get a driver’s license, phone number, find somewhere to live, all whilst starting a new job, so it’s been a full on experience. My new radio show won’t start for a couple of months which will give me some time to settle and learn the Kiwi lingo. It’s daunting knowing I have to win over an entire new audience and to them I’ll be a foreigner which makes it even harder but I’m up for the challenge.

Are you worried about making new friends and setting up a new life in a different city/country?

Of course, it’s a big thing to move your entire life but it’s also exciting. Radio gigs are one of those things that you have to be willing to truly chase and that means probably moving your entire life multiple times, starting over and getting used to constantly making new friends. Anyone who has chased a dream in radio will tell you the same thing, it’s not easy but it comes with the gig.

Who inspires you and what can we expect from you next?

I think anyone who has gone against the norm and are their true selves are the people I look up to. I’ve got a lot of different things in the works, like some hidden camera/people reaction videos which I haven’t done much of before, so I’m pumped about that. I’m about to release a ringtone on iTunes of my Mother screaming my name “Oohhhhh Briannnnna” and some merch which my Mum will pretend she isn’t stoked about but will secretly love. I also have a goal to do my first stand up gig this year which I’m shitting my pants at the thought of. Lol!

Carmela’s first memory of Bree was MCing at a radio/schoolies event on the Gold Coast in Queensland. Bree spent most of the time rapping into the mic. Carmela thought she was hilarious then and knew it wouldn’t be the last time we’d hear from her. Fast forward a mere 5 years later and Carmela is still utterly in awe of how freaking hysterical and genuine Bree is. Finally, the rest of the planet has caught up and now gets to ‘lol’ at her daily too.

If you want to laugh till a little bit of pee comes out then follow Bree on Facebook, ditch the cat videos and check out her YouTube channel and chuckle while she continues to harass her Mother on Instagram.

Kween Krush: HEIDI ANDERSON “Learning To Love Myself.”

Kween Krush: HEIDI ANDERSON “Learning To Love Myself.”

Kween Krush alert!! This is where we celebrate everyday women for being complete badass Wonder Women.

Heidi, we have a crush on you because you’re about to embark on a pretty important year. Not only are you fronting a new radio breakfast show (an honor normally given to the opposite sex) but you’re about to marry the love of your life, all whilst still vigorously working on yourself.

How different is the Heidi now, from the Heidi 5 years ago?

Same same but different.

I’m still loud, out-there & bubbly but I’m much more chilled & content. Radio has relaxed me a lot. I use so much of my energy in my job that outside of work I’m much more silent. 5 years ago, I operated at 100 million miles per hour. These days, a lot of that energy I use creatively and to bond with people. How I am when I’m drunk is how I used to be 24/7. No wonder I was single for so long!

Your brand is ‘Real Heidi’, a declaration of authenticity. Was opening up on an honest and raw level something that came naturally to you or was it a conscious choice?

It happened quite organically to tell you the truth. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve & spoken very freely & openly but when I was setting up my social handles after being on Big Brother, they told me to change my name from ‘Fake Heidi’ to ‘Real Heidi’ as people would know who I was. So ‘Real Heidi’ was born & it just fitted my brand. Working in commercial radio some of the topics I love to chat about were too taboo. My past male co-hosts found it too uncomfortable to discuss some topics on-air as well, so I started sharing them through my socials & people loved the real chat. I’m not one to just chit-chat, in fact I get awkward & anxious just chit-chatting. Getting real is where I’m at.

Why do you think as women we struggle to love ourselves? And what are some easy things we can do daily, to remind ourselves to cherish our heart, body and mind?

Oh god, it’s bloody tough for us women, comparison is huge for me and others! We compare ourselves to everyone and everything. Every girl on social media, at school, at work, on tv etc. We don’t do ourselves any favours by comparing & that’s something I’ve struggled with immensely.

Tips:

-Try & follow people on social media that don’t trigger you. If they’re causing you to have negative thoughts & feelings, simply unfollow. I did that a year ago; there was nothing wrong with these women and it wasn’t their issue, it was mine.

-Find something you like about yourself, your smile, your wit, your butt, etc. and celebrate it, whatever it is!

-Stop with the negative self-talk, it’s only holding you back, and stop giving so many fucks. We get one life. Enjoy it! It’s easy to say, but start pulling yourself up every time you do it. You’ll notice how bad it is.

-Rock what you got! As soon as you like yourself, you start to look after yourself.

With everything you have achieved, what are you most proud of?

Ha ha! I always think I haven’t achieved enough. How sad is that? Because when I stop now and think about it, I’ve achieved a hell of a lot. I think probably overcoming my anxiety & embracing it was my biggest achievement. It was honestly one of the darkest times, but now I look at it as a positive, as I have met some incredible people and it’s opened up many doors for others to share their stories. Connecting with people every day and making them feel something is pretty special too.

How does it feel to be a female leading an all-new-radio-breakfast-show in 2018? Nerve racking? Empowering??

I’m excited. I felt I lost my voice for a while, so it’s a new adventure with a whole new team. These guys are fun, vibrant, supportive & like my brothers. I’m pumped to see where it all goes.

What’s the greatest challenge being a female in the media industry?

As I mentioned previously, finding your voice & being supported. When you work with so many men and such big personalities you sometimes are made to feel misunderstood. It’s a tough industry, predominately male, so having them try to understand you can be hard.

You’re set to be married this year. Tell us one thing that excites you about that and one thing that scares you?

Just being his wife. Celebrating our love and commitment excites me. I just want a party & everyone to be together.

The one thing that scares me is saying the wrong name when exchanging vows. I told my partner Griffo this and he said “Oh well if you say your ex’s name, we’ll laugh and move on.” What a gem!

Tell us something about yourself that you haven’t shared on social media before?

Oh fuck, that’s a hard one, as I do speak so openly. Let me think… got it!

I do singing lessons for fun. Not because I’m good (far from it) but it makes me be mindful, present & in the moment. I love it.

What are your goals for 2018?

-Sober for 3 months (at least) for health reasons. On Sunday, I started a sobriety challenge and spent most of that day at the pub drinking soda. I got this!!

-Grow Real Heidi

-Walk more

-Do more yoga

-Continue to believe in myself

-Not give so many fucks about bullshit things that shouldn’t matter

-Love, live & find three things to be grateful for everyday.

-Oh yeah and write a book!

Carmela and Heidi have actually never met, but with them both working in radio and both constantly on the ‘socials’, it was only a matter of time till they would stumble across each other and bond over hashtags, lady-stuff and their favourite city London.

Obsessed with this Kween as much as we are and want to hear/know more?

You can catch Heidi 6-9am weekdays as one-third of ‘Heidi, Xavier and Ryan’ on Hit 92.9 in Perth. Also get a dose of kind-hearted honesty with Heidi’s podcast Real Heidi, Real People, Real Stories, follow her ‘lols’ on Twitter, and never miss a #inspoquote on Instagram.