Happily Ever After? Guest Kween: CAITLYN FAIRHEAD

Happily Ever After? Guest Kween: CAITLYN FAIRHEAD

To celebrate #STFTL’s one year anniversary, we’re checking in on some of our favourite Kweens and Kings.

What are these gems up to now? And how much can really change in a year? So…

Happy 1st Birthday #STFTL! I can’t believe it’s been a year. We’ve had some good times, haven’t we? All those mornings reading your posts in bed instead of getting ready for work… I’ve treasured every one. You’re a breath of fresh air out here, girl, and we love you. Keep doing your thing!

When Carmela asked me to write this ‘one year on’ piece, I felt like a bit of a fraud, because very little has changed since this – I’m still very much the mother/wife/teacher/whinger I was a year ago. But I’m a whole year older now, so some things must have changed, surely.

I’m still teaching (it’s going good, thanks for asking), studying (also good), mothering (it’s good/relentless) and I suppose I’ve grown a little bit. I still don’t feel like a grown-up though, it’s like any minute now someone’s going to tap me on the shoulder and ask me to step aside so the real grown-ups can take over.

Has anyone (a child, probably) ever told you they want to be like you when they grow up? I recently had this experience and I’m not going to lie to you, it was a bit of a shock.

Not that a five-year-old might look up to me (she’s five, she doesn’t know any better) but that I’m considered a ‘grown-up’. Not just an adult, someone who has literally ‘grown up’, A GROWN-UP!

I looked at her little face and, after briefly wondering why my own kids don’t say these things to me (note: do not pull at this thread), I chuckled pretty lamely and said something like: “Oh, wow, and I’m not done growing yet!”

I’m willing to concede that at 32, I’m possibly not getting any taller at this point. And I admit I’ve done some grown-up things. I got married and had kids (not necessarily in that order), sometimes I buy the expensive tissues instead of the 99c ones and I know my tax file number by heart. Those seem like grown-up things.

But in lots of ways, I’m nowhere near grown-up. I have the attention span of a goldfish and still have a lot of things I want to achieve. I still run late in the mornings. I think thongs go with everything and I drink the cheapest wine I can stomach. I still don’t know what half the settings on my washing machine do and I can’t do eyeliner to save my life. At best, I’d say I’m en route to being a grown-up, but still a way off.

After some pretty self-indulgent reflection on my part, I think I’m in this weird, in-between stage where I still feel like a young person, but at the same time am bloody glad I’m not one. I guess that cliché about growing old, not growing up, is pretty spot on.

I love that I’m not in my twenties anymore. God, I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for my thirties. Going to bed when I’m tired! Saying no to things! Making time for myself! Taking risks! Having a career! Being wiser, smarter, sexier (‘cause of the smarts) and not caring what people think of me! (At least, not as much as I used to). It’s bliss. I’d honestly never be a teenager again.

I don’t know if this feeling is unique to me or what, but frankly, I’m really enjoying getting older. Granted, in the scheme of things I’m still young, but so far I’m only getting more comfortable with myself with each passing year.

Wrinkles? Gimme ‘em. Grey hairs? Sure. Retirement? Farkin’ BRING IT. I know, I shouldn’t wish my life away (or my kids’ lives, since I’m supposed to be enjoying every precious moment, woopsee woops), but you can’t bloody tell me Gloria Steinem wasn’t onto something when she said this:

To that little girl who may one day read this (you just never know): don’t worry a damn about growing up, my darling. Eyeliner is hard, girlfriend, and to be honest the cheap wine does the same job. And f*** that washing machine, too. Just enjoy growing older.

Maybe I’ll change my mind when I’m in my seventies, but this growing-up business can go jump. Growing older is where it’s at!

Caitlyn is a thirtyish-year-old teacher with a passion for good books and cheap wine. She has two children and an ever-patient husband, though her true love is Mexican food.

 

Kween Katch Up: ANGIE & YVIE

Kween Katch Up: ANGIE & YVIE

Ever wanted to eavesdrop a little more on a conversation between Gogglebox’s Angie & Yvie? Well you’re in luck!! Because TV’s most adored couch duo just got totes personal and interviewed each other.

Angie asks Yvie:

1. If you were a man, what would you want your name to be and what kind of man do you think you would be as opposed to the kind of man you would wish to be?

I definitely want to be called Bruce. And I’d like to think I’d be a feminist. But let’s be honest, I’d be born a white man into a white man’s world, so I’d probably bang heaps of bitches and spread my legs on public transport while talking over everyone. How much fun would that be??

2. What’s your biggest regret in life?

That I didn’t spend more time with my mum in the 12 months before she died.

3. Do you still believe in soul mates and do you think you’ll find yours?

Hmmmm, I do believe in them. I think we get a lot of soul mates in a lifetime though. Lovers, friends and family. I feel I’ve met a few already and I’m yet to meet more.

4. What’s one thing you would love to change about yourself? Not looks-wise, but spiritually/personality-wise?

I’d love to be better at confrontation.

5. What do you hope for your future?

That women start running things. That the world would finally realise if they handed things over to us, for just five years, we’d fix it in two and enjoy our work for the next three. Then we’d see if they want to get men to run it again.

Yvie asks Angie:

1. What did you want to be when you grew up?

That changed quite often, depending on what stage I was in. When I was really young: I wanted to be an artist/poet (even though I could only really draw stick man and rhyme honey with bunny). Then when I was a tween: I wanted to host my own television show (like Rove Live) and rescue the gorillas. And then after that, I wanted to be a director for important documentaries or a theatre director!

2. What is your biggest fear?

Loosing the people I love. I’ve come to realise (after recently losing people close to me) that I’m petrified of death. And not making something of myself.

3. Why do you think we’re here?

To love and be loved and to share our experiences with the world. To make connections with people and to make a difference in lives; even if it’s simply by making someone laugh all the time.

4. When and how do you think you’ll die?

I always thought I would die before 30, as I could not see life past that. I never thought how it would happen, I just have always thought I wouldn’t live long. Hopefully it’s falling asleep to my favourite tv shows with heaps of dogs around me and with everyone knowing how much I god damn love them!

5. Do you think you have more than one true love in a lifetime?

Yes. I have already had so many loves in my life. There’s all types of love, so I believe we get hundreds of that ‘one true loving’ feeling!

What are our favourite gal pals up to now?

Yvie is still living with Tom and has two permanent dogs, one semi-permanent dog (baked bean) and lots of fosters!

Angie is living the gypsy life and couch-surfing while her and Yvie film this current season of Gogglebox. She will then head back home to QLD to be closer to her family for a while.

@angie_and_yvie

@angieandyviegoggleboxau

Girl code: what to do with the ones that break it?

Girl code: what to do with the ones that break it?

So, full disclosure, this venture called ‘So The Fairy Tales Lied…’ is about real, honest, warts-and-all stories. Stories you don’t normally see on social media. It’s also about supporting and uplifting women. We love women and men in equal measure. You’re all our #Kweens and we’re so stoked with the little community that we’ve created.

So forgive me for what I’m about to express, as it’s not overly in line with my usual feeling and comments towards our dear sisters.

Unfortunately of late, I haven’t been treated as well as I’d like to by some of my female friends. Some of those friends were ‘my people’. They weren’t just acquaintances but almost like family. But recently some of their actions has had me question…

“Why are women so awful to each other?”

“Why are women so competitive with each other?”

“Am I the only person honouring the ‘girl code’?”

“Does treating your female friends with the love and respect they deserve not a thing guaranteed from everyone?”

Bold questions I know. But I’d be lying to you and mostly to myself if I didn’t confess to it. I’m not proud of it and mostly want to know where these thoughts come from.

I mean, we’ve all had it. Our worlds rocked by the disloyalty of a friend. Friends that have not kept their word, friends that have not been entirely honest to your face, friends that have hooked up with the guy you really like.

Yep, that one stings a lot.

That happened to me recently and on my birthday (of all nights). I spent most of the evening confiding in my friend about how much I liked this guy and then the next minute her tongue was down his throat!

Why?

What makes it ok in someone’s head and heart that allows them to do that to another (let alone to a friend)? Embarrassing as it is to admit, this has actually happened to me more than a few times; mostly when I was in my teens. I guess I reserved that behaviour for immature teenagers or just being too young to know better but when it’s still happening in your 30s? Oh gosh!!

Also I’d never done that to a friend and won’t have to worry about doing it to one in the future because I would never. So I guess it’s really weird that I’ve accepted it from other people like I didn’t deserve better.

Well, not anymore.

I don’t expect everyone to treat me the way I treat them but I do except my friends to love and respect me. To consider my feelings. To be accountable for their actions. I can’t have the response be “I’m sorry but I was really really drunk.” I’m so sick of hearing that. How is that an excuse? That’s not good enough. I refuse to accept that as an apology.

The way I see it is, let’s please stop blaming alcohol for our awful behavior. If alcohol brings out the truth in people then has all it really done is just confirm how much of truly awful person you are? Maybe not.

So I ask, Kweens, when faced with betrayal, what do we do next? Do we forgive? Do we forget? Are some things unforgivable or unforgettable? Are we just as much to blame if we continue to allow these toxic people in our lives? How do we move forward? I’m struggling to just erase these feelings and act like it doesn’t bother me. Because it does. But I can erase these people from my life. Is that the answer?

What should be acknowledged too are the numerous women in my life that have never done this to me. Also the women that have, admitted they’re sorry and after working through it, our friendship has become stronger because of it. That counts as well.

So why am I so distraught when it initially happens? Do we hold the women in our lives to a higher esteem than we do men? Is that even ok? Why do we forgive the men in our lives a lot sooner than women? Have numerous bad dates and bad break-ups conditioned us this way? How unhealthy is that!?

Either way, can we please restore the girl code? Nothing is more powerful than women united. Empowered women, empower women.

So please, let’s be kind and always keep the well-being of our sisters in mind (Jesus. Did that just rhyme?). 😉

Big love,

Carmela

x

Introducing Carmela Contarino, the #PowerKween behind ‘So The Fairy Tales Lied…’ 👸🏻♥️✨

Carmela is an Aussie in London with wanderlust. A TV/Radio rebel. Fierce feminist. Loud laugh-er. Emotional eat-er. Pop culture cat. Red wine wooer and karaoke kween. She hopes that her experiences are just like yours, funny, warm, loud, raw and that maybe you can figure out this thing called ‘life’ together. #YasssKween 🙌🏼