Dear Kweens,

I’ll try and keep this short as we’re on the cusp of a New Year and there’s plenty of bubbles, laughter, dancing and misbehaving to be had.

But I wanted to share something with you and hope in doing so, I will not only help you but help myself.

Every time it gets to this point of the year I ask the same 3 questions.

“Have I done enough this year?”

“Was it more than I did the year before?”

And lastly…

“How can I evolve again next year?” Basically, what can I change about myself?

And for all the achievements and life goals accomplished, maybe this was my biggest problem all along: this ridiculous competition and constant struggle with myself. I mean, as if the temptation of comparing yourself with the rest of the world wasn’t draining enough. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted.

So here I started to go again, picking at what went wrong, despising myself over not just the big things but the little things too (like my point of view in conversations or the bad jokes I had told), putting myself down, sizing myself up against this and that. And speaking of size, this also includes looking back on what I was wearing last year verses this year. Putting a whole bunch of clothes to the side of the wardrobe that I never got to wear again, even though I swore this would be the year I’d fit back into them. Examining how many more bumps and lumps and marks have formed on my body and despite all my talk, how I’ve once again done nothing about it, if not, just contributed to it more.

Now, not that self-development and self-growth aren’t necessary, but I guess it’s whether it’s necessary in spades and with such scrutiny; especially when’s it’s coming from deep inside. What about self-love?

If you too are single, in your 30s and scarily reaching the high-end of that age bracket, I encourage we try something a little different next year.

Let’s make our resolution to not change what we don’t like but to accept it instead.

Let’s embrace who we are.

Yep. Let’s grow ‘fully’ into our own skin.

Let’s be so much on the side of comfortable that it could also be a little too uncomfortable.

I know it’s cliche as hell and I’m not the first female to lead this charge but let’s fucking love-the-shit-out-of-ourselves, shall we?

I mean utterly and totally and unapologetically love ourselves.

Let’s be our own best friend.

Christ, let’s date ourselves! Take ourselves out for walks, to the movies, to dinner…

Let’s take the time to look after ourselves as much as we look after everyone else.

Let’s give the pep talks that we give to our nearest and dearest to ourselves every time life gets a little too hard next year.

Let’s try and I mean god damn try to burst with pride and celebrate even the little-wins. And every now and then let’s stop and reflect on just how far we’ve come or what we’ve overcome; especially if you’re doing it on your own.

What’s a Kween without her King you ask? Well, historically speaking, more powerful. But that power can only come from within my friend. You can’t buy it, you can’t eat it, you can’t drink it, you can’t smoke it, you can’t force it. You need to have a quiet word with you body and mind, and remind it that it is enough. Because, you are enough.

Good luck next year, my Kweens. May we learn to appreciate every flaw, crease, nook and cranny in our life, personality and body; from the top of our crown-wearing head, right down to our fat baby toe.

Be brave. Be bold. Be you.

Big love,

Carmela

x

Introducing Carmela Contarino, the #PowerKween behind ‘So The Fairy Tales Lied…’ 👸🏻♥️✨

Carmela is an Aussie in London with wanderlust. A TV/Radio rebel. Fierce feminist. Loud laugh-er. Emotional eat-er. Pop culture cat. Red wine wooer and karaoke kween. She hopes that her experiences are just like yours, funny, warm, loud, raw and that maybe you can figure out this thing called ‘life’ together. #YasssKween 🙌🏼